


River I Hope You’re Happy

by wakaranai_quinn



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, M/M/M, Multi, NSFW!, Oral Sex, Threesome, do not read, my friend made me write this, river i hope youre happy, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakaranai_quinn/pseuds/wakaranai_quinn
Summary: yes ik i shouldnt be writing this but it seemed like a good idea at 1am
Relationships: Jesus Christ/Insert, Jesus Christ/Satan (Judeo-Christian), Jesus Christ/Satan/Insert, Satan/Insert
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	River I Hope You’re Happy

It was a normal day for Mr Piggens - the boring usual day. Mr Piggens was a man in his forties, maybe - who really knew? But he wasn’t like any other man in his forties, for he was having a midlife crisis. You’re thinking, but narrator, everybody has a midlife crisis - oh no, dear reader. This midlife crisis was like no other, for the reason that Mr Piggens was actually a homosexual - and a closeted one, at that. But he didn’t like the fact that he was a homosexual, so he took out his inner homophobia on those who also identified of the queer type. And Mr Piggens had a fair excuse for it, too. He took everything back to Jesus. 

To the Lord and Saviour of the world, of all humanity. Jesus was the answer to everything - and I mean this quite literally. Taking out his inner homophobia on fellow homosexuals wasn’t the only way he dealt with being gay - as Mr Piggens also had random urges to fuck - literally fuck. Usually, he would be quite satisfied with the pleasure he got from masturbation - especially to gay pornography - but sometimes he needed more. 

Of course, being a homosexual, Mr Piggens had the urges to fuck those of the same sex. He needed to be able to find somebody that would keep it secret - somebody that would never tell. Somebody like-

“Hey, there you~” came the familiar deep voice whom belonged to a specific red skinned man - or, if you wish, demon. 

None other than Satan would be willing to help Mr Piggens with this crisis, and none other than Satan would keep it a secret from everybody else. 

“H-Hey, Satan,” Mr Piggens’ face flushed as he looked down, trying not to make eye contact. 

“We’re going to k-keep this quiet today - r-right?” 

Satan smirked as he made small steps over towards Mr Piggens’ desk, “Of course, baby.”

“D-Don’t call me baby,” Mr Piggens locked eyes with the other man. 

“Oh, okay,” Satan smirked again, outstretching his hands. 

“What about...” he pondered for a moment, “Piggy?”

“You may not call me Piggy-“ Mr Piggens was cut off by Satan pushing and pinning him to the ground. 

Satan ignored the comment and continued to toy with the other man, starting with unzipping his trousers, as he eyed the bulging erection beneath his hands. 

“You know I shouldn’t be here~” Satan teased as he pulled down the before mentioned trousers, causing Piggens’ to shiver with delight. 

Mr Piggens let out deep moan as Satan let his red hands find their way down Piggens’ trousers, wrapping themselves around his balls. 

“You like that, don’t you, my little piglet?” Satan cooed, scratching his nails along Piggens’ scrotum, piercing through the flesh. 

“St-stop that...” Mr Piggens yelped as his balls throbbed. “I-I’m sorry...”

“Oh, don’t be sorry,” Satan toyed with the tip other mans dick, as he snapped his fingers, bringing the two of them to a red room, decorated with various red roses, silk sheets and sex toys - vibrators, dildos, and gags of sorts. 

“D-Don’t tell Jesus,” Mr Piggens whimpered as Satan rubbed his long nails against the head of his cock, as Satan’s own cock bobbed underneath the thin fabric of his underwear. 

“Oh, why not?” Satan smirked suggestively. “I’m sure he would be into it.”

“N-no...” The pig moaned. “P-please, d-don’t....”

“Oh, but yes.”

Before Piggens’ could say another word against it, Jesus walked through the door with his dick out and balls swinging. 

“Heyyy Piggy~” Jesus half-shouted drunkenly. He smelled heavily of expensive wine - the type of wine that had sat for hundreds, if not thousands of years - much like the ages of the two men Piggens’ found himself in the same room as. 

“Damn, Mr Piggy, you’re packin’” Jesus said in shock as he eyed Piggens’ crotch. 

“Nah,” Satan smirked, looking over to Jesus. “He’s so small that I’d probably get better deepthroat off of a tictac.”

“Oh, yes, Mr Piggy freshen my breath,” Jesus giggled as he strode over to Piggens, before tearing off the boxers of Mr Piggens and himself, taking the pigs cock in his mouth whole. 

Mr Piggens moaned loudly as Jesus’ tongue caressed his dick, biting on the soft skin. 

“Now you’re leaving me out,” Satan pouted as his eyes lit up with the thought of many new ideas. Satan pulled up Piggens, Jesus still sucking on the mans cock, and spat onto his right hand. 

Satan made sure that his right hand found its way through Mr Piggens’ cheeks, and deep into the anus, then Piggens’ started moaning loudly. 

“S-Satan,” Mr Piggens whimpered, “Y-You’re hurting me...”

Jesus groaned delightfully as Piggens’ penis became fully erect inside his mouth, and took another bite, causing the pig to yelp and orgasm into Jesus’ mouth. 

“It’s okay, my little piglet,” Satan whispered as he thrust his cock further into Mr Piggens asshole. “It’ll all be over soon...” 

Jesus moaned as several shots of sticky white cum found their way down his throat, as he came all over Piggens’ and Satan’s legs. 

Satan moaned loudly as he then experienced his own orgasm, sinking his teeth into Mr Piggens’ shoulder to stifle the noise. 

Piggens yelped again as more shoots of cum flew into Jesus’ mouth, as Satan brought his lips off of his shoulder, leaving a deep purple mark. 

Jesus giggled drunkenly, bringing himself off of his knees to lock lips with Mr Piggens, as the second man groaned after the sudden contact. Jesus let his tongue slip through the mouth of his follower, before letting Mr Piggens’ nut find it’s way into his mouth. 

Mr Piggens’ moaned as his own semen was let into his mouth, before swallowing it in shock after Satan bit into his neck. Satan continued to suck on his neck as Jesus brought his own mouth down to meet Mr Piggens ballsack, leaving several purple love bites along the sac, Satan leaving just as many along Mr Piggens neck and collarbone. 

“S-Satan... Je-Jesus...”

Jesus pulled back from the pigs sac suddenly, before disappearing from the room, with no reason as to why he left. 

“S-Satan, we’re alone again...” 

“I know,” Satan smirked as he rubbed his fingers through Mr Piggens hair. “We should read the bible together next time... how about chapter 69?”

“O-okay...” 

“Then I’ll cya, Piggy. Same time next week,” before Satan disappeared with a click of his fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> go get some bleach for your eyes


End file.
